Heeeeey so did you guys know that if you lose your keys and your apartment locks with a deadbolt an unreasonably-cute policeman comes and hangs out with you in your dark sketchy hallway while the fire department breaks in through your window?
uhhhhh wow do you even know how much it costs to have a locksmith come out at eight pm and mess with your deadbolt because I actually do and I’m never paying for that again thanks
Plus locksmiths tend to not be as cute. Just saying.
I’m going to write this drabble because I’m stuck on this ficlet that I started because I’m stuck on this oneshot that I started because I’m stuck on this longfic.
On this date, 27 years ago, the perfect confluence of events happened. A rainbow formed abruptly out of a dull, September sky. A group of corgi puppies yipped in unison, as if heralding the arrival of one of their own. Two penguins pledged their lives to each other. Manatees were spotted waltzing in open water. The hole in the ozone later shrank a little. The ocean offered a portion of its wide spectrum of ethereal colours in joyful sacrifice. A shooting star tracked across the heavens, as if chasing the path of the sun.
Stocks in tube socks tripled; they had a feeling things were going to be looking up again, somehow.
La Bamba topped the Billboard 100.
And Tyler Lee Hoechlin was born, coming into the world amid a stream of stardust and angelic chorus, smiling.
Happy Birthday, you beautiful, humble, ridiculous dork of a man.